1st Annual Workshop on Semi/quasi/pseudo/nearly/sort of/not quite/ almost-classical methods in Well-Funded Subjects To be held in Berkeley, California, USA on 15 May, 2003. Sponsors: United States Central Intelligence Agency, Berkeley Fire Department (BFD), Nintendo of America, Future Farmers of America, Unemployment Center for Postdoctoral Scholars in Semiclassical Analysis, Society of Insomniacs Invited Speakers include: I. Finagle, T. Grinch, P. Master*, P. Pong, M.A. Porter*, F. Toad * denotes deceased Session Topics Semi-classical analysis, Semi-quantum analysis, Quasi-classical analysis, Pseudo-classical analysis, Almost-classical analysis, Not-quite-classical analysis, Nearly-classical analysis, quantum computation, nanoscience, biology, free cookies and doughnuts (Mmmmm...sugar), coffee (Mmmmm...caffeine) Abstract Deadline: 3 April 2003 CONTRIBUTED TALKS AND POSTERS: Contributed posters will be presented at extended poster sessions throughout the meeting. Approximately 25-30 contributed talks of 15-minute length each will be selected by the program committee from among those who wish to be considered for a contributed talk. Contributed talks will be accompanied by an 8-page paper which will be included in the conference proceedings. Requests for special audio-visual equipment should be made as soon as possible after notification of acceptance of abstract. Any speakers whose talks last beyond the alloted time will be publicly flogged. (We mean it. Nobody will get off easy this time. Don't go over the time limit!) FINANCIAL SUPPORT: Limited financial support is available upon request for graduate students and post-doctoral fellows who are making presentations at the conference. Please submit a short justification to the Conference organizers (to M.A. Porter) including your name, address, phone number(s), an estimated budget for attending the conference, and the amount of the stipend requested. We do not have much money, so it is likely that your application will be summarily rejected. But please send it to us anyway, because we need more scrap paper. If you send us money, you'll increase the chance of your talk being accepted (see previous item). PROCEEDINGS: Please note that all invited and contributed oral presenters are required to submit a manuscript for inclusion in the Proceedings. A copy of the Conference proceedings will be presented to each paid regular (non-student rate) attendee at no additional charge. Extra copies of the proceedings may be ordered at the Conference at a reduced rate. R-rated versions will cost extra. You better be prepared to pay a fortune if you want the X-rated version of the proceddings, Bucko. CONFERENCE DEADLINES: The following deadlines should be noted: 10 April 2003: Abstracts for talks/posters due to program committee. 25 April 2003: Notification of acceptance of contributed talks/posters. 12 June 2003: Final versions of proceedings papers due (oral talks only) All correspondence should be addressed to: Dr. Mason A. Porter School of Mathematics, Georgia Institute of Technology Atlanta, GA 30332 E-mail: mason@math.gatech.edu Please put the phrase "April 1st Conference Announcement" in the subject line of any email messages. Don't expect a prompt response. "Evil will always win because Good is dumb." I could be playing Zelda now, but I remembered what day it was and decided to spend some time doing this. I meant to prepare in advance this year, but I forgot (again). This will have to do. This was just a joke. Please don't blacklist me. I'll name names. Really.