Family Affairs from Lord John and the Brotherhood of the Blade

"I think a gentleman conducts his affairs with kindness and with honor," Lord John said, at last. "That being so, if the recipient is a woman, or a man--does it matter so much?"

Percy gave a short laugh.

"Kindness and honor? That's all well--but what of love?"

Grey valued love--and feared it--too greatly to make idle protestations.

"You cannot compel love," he said finally, "nor summon it at will. Still less," he added ruefully, "can you dismiss it." He glanced up at Percy, who was looking down, tracing patterns on the counterpane with a fingertip. "I think you are not in love with me, though, are you?"

Percy smiled a little, not looking up. Not disagreeing, either.

"Cannot dismiss it," he echoed. "Who was he? Or is he?"

"Is." Grey felt a sudden jolt of the heart, at the speaking of that single word. Something at once joyful and terrible; the admission was irrevocable.

Percy was looking up at him now, brown eyes bright with interest.

"It is--I mean, he--you need not worry. There is no possibility of anything between us," Grey blurted, and bit his tongue, to keep back the sudden impulse to tell everything, only for the momentary thrill of speaking of Jamie Fraser. He was wiser than that, though, and kept the words bottled tight in his throat.

"Oh. He's not...?" Percy's gaze flicked momentarily over Grey's nakedness, then returned to his face.

"No."

It was late in the day; light skimmed across the room from the high attic windows, striking the dark burnished mass of Percy's curling hair, painting the lines of his face in chiaroscuro, but leaving his body in the dimness of shadow.

"Is friendship and sincere liking not enough for you?" He was careful to avoid any tone of pettishness or accusation, making the question merely one of honest inquiry. Percy heard this, and smiled, lopsidedly, but with answering honesty.

"No." He stretched out a hand and ran it up Grey's bare arm, over the curve of his shoulder and down the slope of his breast, where he spread his palm flat over the nipple--and took a sudden grip of the flesh there, fingers digging into the muscle.

"Add that, though..." he said softly, "and I think it will suffice."